Christian Mutual Fund Lists "Evil" Games

The Timothy Plan is an investment fund geared toward evangelical Christian investors who do not want to support “immoral” media companies. The firm has issued a pamphlet for investors outlining some of the games and companies that the fund refuses to support. The games that made this list did so because of the presence of so called “Anti-family” content. In other words, any game that even smacks of “the ghey” has earned a spot on this list. For our readers’ amusement, here are the top games (and publishers) that Christian evangelicals are urged to avoid:

Most Offensive Games:

Grand Theft Auto IV – Big surprise here. The pamphlet goes into juicy detail, however. “ The beginning scene of the game shows a man and woman in full bondage gear, with the woman slapping the man with a whip, while they both scream in a mix of pained/pleasured tones.” Oh, and they didn’t like the whole gay dating side of things, either.

Bully – Man, Rockstar just cannot catch a break! While coming a few years to late to do any real harm, the Timothy Plan criticizes this 2006 release for just about every sick and twisted turn it takes. In particular, they balked at the gender-neutral kissing mechanic in the game saying that “Homosexual achievements such as “over the rainbow” can be reached on the XBOX 360 when you kiss 20 boys.”

No More Heroes – Even the ostensibly family-friendly Wii console didn’t escape the scorn of this Christian group. The pet project of Japanese developer Suda51, No More Heroes was chastised for its overuse of the red side of the color palette: “The over-the-top violence in this game includes the ability to use the Wii remote to quite literally dismember enemies by slicing them in half or beheading or disemboweling them, and so on. Blood is everywhere as red becomes the prominent color in this game.

Army of Two – This is probably the best one of all. “Homosexual Encounters ... Somewhat homo-erotic undertones between the two main characters are present.”

With major publishers EA, Rockstar, and Nintendo on the Evangelical mutual fund black list, we wonder how the firm will find any virtual media companies to invest in. Perhaps it is time to bring back those old Bible edutainment titles from the NES era. When it comes to investing our money in games, however, we’ll stick with the sex, drugs and violence formula that seems to be working best.

Dude, we are so not gay.

[Source: Game Politics]